tonight, i worked from 4pm-2am at navy pier. this is my other job, the one where all the meat is already long dead before it gets to my hands, and my job is just to put it together with non-meat stuff and make sure it makes it to the customers - or at least out of the kitchen, having finally leaned sometime recently that i can't really control everything. which is probably for the best.
at around 7:30 i went out for a smoke break, one of my last, as they took away smoke breaks as of 2012 at that job and my other one never gave them in the first place. it's not enough to make me quit smoking. after lighting up and getting about halfway through, i realized i had a text from Mxxxxx asking if i was working. i said yes, and she said to let me know when i had a smoke break. "on one now," i said, and five minutes later she came around the corner and kissed me. she was nearly drunk, out at the billy goat for an hour or two before heading off to a half-dozen other parties for the night. it was the first new year's kiss i'd gotten in years, and i told her so. she kissed me again. it was the first time i'd seen her since october, and it lasted five minutes before i went back to work. "don't be a stranger," i said, holding her face so i could look in her eyes as i said it. "you know my facebook," she said, and that was it. despite the stupid smile on my face when i went back in, i was thinking. i know i haven't made much in the way of moves on her recently, but part of me definitely wanted her to say something about it. maybe that was her way of doing so, i thought, still smiling. she still smells amazing.
about 11:30 i managed to duck out for one last smoke, texting her a "happy new year, you beautiful bitch". an hour later i'd gotten no response, got nervous she'd taken the bitch part seriously (i don't like using 'bitch' to refer to women unless it's really, really accurate), and followed up with, "just kidding, you know i love ya". five minutes later, get a reply that ends, "love you too." haven't heard that in a good few years, either. but did i really mean it, what i said? i didn't know.
later, on an incredibly crowded bus, waiting to pull out of navy pier at 2:30, i messaged her to see what she was doing. turns out, she went to her ex's place (no surprise there, her circle of friends seems to use that house as their main gathering point), where he hit her in the face.
...now, i'm not a particularly violent person. used to get in fights in second, third grade, but who didn't? but, and let me emphasize this, if there is one rule that men should be expected to follow it is that you do not hit women. if you break this rule, your physical well-being becomes forfeit, and you should not be surprised by this. she claimed one of her other friends took care of it, but i'm sure he could still see afterwards, which means it was probably for the best that i wasn't there.
she'd left by the time i heard this, thanked me for the offers of violence, and i didn't hear from her again the rest of the night (though i asked, twice, if she'd like to come by here, and never got a response). hopefully, seeing as it's almost 6am, she's safely asleep somewhere. just like i should be.
...one more time: you do not hit women.
