shrug

i don't know what to say to you anymore. i guess i'd like to just stop talking all together, have a silent relationship, let all the dirty foolish words be reserved for others. complicate their lives, for a change; let ours' be a little simpler. can we not communicate all we need to via touch, via the songs we choose, via shared love for the dog? i understand you best when you sleep, all the little needs and worries voiced and solved in the space of a caress. arms around me, now, for no more worries will haunt you tonight. if i can help it. (i can't. i just talk a big game.)

ah, but those wings i so love have carried you far off again, far from the beach we didn't relax on, far from the love we couldn't admit, far from this city and its stifling summer ceiling, dropping lower and lower each day, surely infinite to our eyes but constrained and...

(...running out of steam in that direction...)

...i worry: perhaps i do have within me the capacity to control the minutiae of our lives, but i just can't bring myself to care enough, most of the time... let the world run itself into the ground, but let it leave me alone, yeah? that's what i always say, and that's how it always seems to go, so remember that the next time i bitch about being lonely... god, i'm a one-trick pony with a one-track mind, a one-truck redneck with a one-treck daily limit.

yeah, i misspelled trek. fuck off, imaginary friends. (i love you.)

and here is an off-topic dammit: "dammit."