love

i believe i will give you one more chance to make me fall in love with you, as awful an idea as it sounds. i've been advised against the whole scenario quite heavily, but i guess i'm hoping to be forgiven. it's hard to walk away from a decent thing, just to go back to no thing at all.

i hear that i have not left you in a better place than when i found you, and that to continue it might just further ruin us both. this is par for the course for me, apparently. my attempts to help people often leave them far worse off than if i'd kept to myself. or so i'm told. half of me believes it. the other half still believes i'm a god-damned angel sent here to do a few decades of good before returning to the source. and in the middle, the observer, decision-maker, i do not know if there are angels, or devils, or a source, or a point. i simply keep deciding to breathe, often at moments when i have not done so for a while.