broken people

we're all a little broken.

my left contact got torn, and i can't replace it until monday, because i get paid on monday. i might actually have to wait until tuesday, because i start work at 4 monday afternoon. tuesday i'm off. i'm also trying to get the cool people i work with together to get drunk with the irish on tuesday, but that's a different story.

one of our dishwashers missed work today because his new medication (for his two new ulcers) is making him shit constantly. one of my prep cooks didn't miss work today, despite his five ulcers, bad ankles, and occasional heart murmur. one of my waiters is blind in one eye, and has barely missed a day of work in the four months he's been there. one of my pantry cooks is a princess bitch and won't quit no matter how hard we all pray for it. one of my pasta cooks is 30, and has two kids.

and my roommate, who has no job, can't be bothered to do the dishes unless it's his turn, and won't keep the house clean (thus our current fruit fly / ant situation), and won't cook dinner when the other two of us work all night, and won't take the dog out in the morning or at night until his barking has woken me up.

there is also one more roommate, who has recently fallen off the wagon, who works long days doing very little, who shows up late at night or not at all but pays his rent and buys food for the dog. thus we are four people, in a three bedroom apartment, which is why i sleep in the "living room" (indistinguishable from the actual living room just next door, separated by nothing at all) now. i wake up angry almost every day due to this fact, this fact which has me awake right now, actually, despite the fact that it is 3am and i have to be back at work at noon. instead here i sit, as they watch and loudly comment on some shitty saturday morning cartoon they've been watching off netflix for four or five days straight. at least it's not all those other shitty saturday morning cartoons they've watched the full runs of on netflix.

i might need privacy more than sleep at this point. sometimes i would like to say fuck off and leave me alone to everyone at once, with an exemption for a woman who could love me at least as much as i love her.

c'est la vie.

just over a week until my reading, and while i'm almost finished with the story about the two who fall in love then have a kid after their foresight reveals that the world is about to end, i'm losing interest in it. rapidly. it feels trite, i don't know why. it's too simple? i don't know. i'm probably going to read it anyway, though i've had a daydream or two of getting halfway through, just telling the rest of the story to the audience freestyle, then spending some time discussing the 'none of my fantasies come true' bit and leave them thinking i'm some sort of delusional madman convinced he's saving the world by constantly envisioning the worst.

it'd make em come back for more, i think.